Second Hand Embarrasement

Confession: I am extremely prone to what my family calls “second hand embarrassment.”  My daughter came up with this term because there is nothing in the English language to describe this.  (I’m told that there is a French word for it, but I don’t know what it is.)  But second hand embarrassment is when you’re in the room with somebody who is completely making a fool of himself and for some reason you feel completely embarrassed for him to the point you can hardly stand it.  In other words, you feel the embarrassment that person should be feeling.  We also refer to these moments as “Michael Scott” moments.  If you’ve watched the TV show “The Office” then you know what I’m talking about.  Michael Scott was the manager of the Scranton branch of the Dunder Mifflin paper company who was extremely prone to making a complete fool of himself.  We’re not talking about the Chevy Chase slap stick kind of stuff, (that doesn’t bother me at all) but the confidently saying or doing stuff that is really socially taboo.  For example, in one episode of The Office a corporate trainer is sent out to provide diversity training because of Michael Scott's constant lack of sensitivity.  Being completely oblivious to his own actions, Michael takes over the meeting thinking he's an expert on the topic. Ughhhh!  - Cringe and face in palm.- Where’s the exit?

I hate that I'm so prone to second hand embarrassment.  I’m sure it comes from my Baptist upbringing where I learned exactly what behavior was acceptable so as to avoid offending the old ladies who would scold you after the service if you misbehaved. (I learned the hard way - NEVER talk during the benediction, even though the service will be over in 30 seconds!) Nothing is more uncomfortable for me than to be sitting in a group with somebody who is acting like a weirdo.  I'm not talking about having fun.  I'm talking about somebody way out of line from what is socially acceptable at the moment.  You know, that guy with nothing interesting or valuable to offer who takes over the meeting because he loves the sound of his own voice and thinks the people rolling their eyes feel the same way.  Or that drama queen who thinks everything is a miracle, “Glory to God! Hallelujah!  Praise the Lord!  Junior got His braces off!  Thank you Jesus! (raises hand in air, closes eyes, and manages to shed a tear).”  Shoot, it’s even happened to me on Facebook when somebody started blasting certain people completely oblivious to the fact that some of those people are my friends and were reading those comments. (Ugh.) 

I brought up second hand embarrassment because I’ve come to realize that this is the very way I feel about much of Christianity.  It’s a total embarrassment to me.  I’m a follower of Christ, but because of that I get linked to some of the weirdest, most socially twisted, mean spirited, and judgmental people around.  You can tell people, “I’m not with wack-o over there.”  But wack-o over there often says he’s with you.  And there are the total Michael Scotts of Christianity who’ve made it their mission to make their dead version of Christianity more appealing by making it cool.  “Yeah dude!  Jesus rocks!”  -Face Palm-  “WWJD all the way!”  I’ll tell you WLWD (what Loren will do) – try to hide under his chair then sneak out.

There is all this talk among Christians about what to do to make Christianity “relevant."  They try to come up with all kinds of (weird) stuff to bring in the masses.  Yet, it seems the more “relevant” they try to make it the lamer, more Michael Scott-ish, it becomes.  And like Michael Scott, they can't even see how lame they are.  In their minds they're convinced they're cool.  Watch the church episodes of The Simpsons or That 70's Show if you need to see what this really looks like to others.  "I don't need PCP or LSD, I get high on G.O.D." says youth pastor Dave on That 70's Show. 

The reason why I suffer from second hand embarrassment is because many of the people that get involved in this kind of nonsense truly love God.  And I know God loves them.  (Hey, it's easy to believe God loves a scoundrel, try believing He loves a self righteous religious nut - now that takes faith!)  So, a lot of these people are - gulp- my brothers and sisters.  There I said it, okay!  Are you happy?  I'm actually related to some of these weirdos!  Ugh!  But to make it even worse, I was actually one of them.  That's right!

When I was a youth pastor I once went on a rant over the evils of listening to (oh, don't say it!) SECULAR MUSIC!!!  I was a legalistic goofball who worked his fingers to the bone trying to make God happy.  (Okay, and I was trying to make everybody else around me happy too, especially the pastor- but we won't get into that.)  I was part of the insanity of trying to make God cool and laboring to bring in the numbers.  I marketed God and tried to crack that secret code that would cause people to come pouring into my youth group and church. The truth is I was the Michael Scott of Christianity. So I'm in an unusual position when it comes to those Christians that embarrass me.  I was not only one of them - I strove to be the ring leader of the Christian circus. 

What Changed?  Religion crushed me and killed me.  I died.  But I didn't stay dead.  Jesus resurrected me by opening my eyes to who He is, and man did I have it wrong!  I saw that it's all about relationship.  (Yeah, yeah, I know, everybody says that.)  But see, I came to actually know and believe that.  This whole complicated mess called Christianity is just that, a complicated mess.  Most of it has little to do with the One who said that those who follow Him will be like children - simple.  It's as simple as this, Jesus loves us, we receive His love to the point that we can't contain it and then we pour it out by loving others.  It's too simple.  You don't need millions of dollars, hierarchies, programs, and so forth for that.  You just need Jesus and some people around you to love.  (They can be your neighbors, coworkers, family, etc.) 

Oh, and what is more relevant than love?  Good grief, it's in our music, movies, books, it's everywhere!  And here God is the source of it!  Yet, so many of the very people who claim to know Him are unable to link people to Him because they themselves aren't even linked to Him.  They're serving machinery, rules, obligations, traditions, and so forth.  They end up reflecting the very things they serve.  (Ever wonder why many Christians seem more machine than human?)  Yet if they could just unplug for a little while and look into their Father's face they would see they are truly loved.  And frankly, they would find that so much of what they thought was "normal Christianity" is really twisted and weird and has nothing to do with living loved.  All the noise and nonsense would fade away.