Friendship

A new episode of our podcast is up! This time we discuss friendship. Friendship was clearly a big deal to Jesus. He even called his disciples friends. Today words like "family" and "friends" are constantly tossed around the body of Christ, yet sadly, many discover after belonging to a congregation for years they really don't have any true friends. Activities, programs, expectations, and performance end up proving not to be the building blocks for genuine friendship. Why is that the case? What can we do to make friends with others? This is what David and Loren discuss on this episode.

Results Oriented

We're back! Believers often measure their effectiveness in the Kingdom of God based on the results they see with their own eyes. People look for things they can measure to determine whether or not they are doing God's work. They look for large crowds, numerous books being sold, popularity, and so forth. But is this what Jesus was talking about when He said that His followers would bear fruit? This is what David and Loren discuss in this episode of Untangled.

Shame, Religion, and the American Dream

The kingdom of God and the American Dream are not one in the same. In fact they are in direct opposition to one another. The American Dream is actually a counterfeit religion that has sunk it’s talons into Christianity and polluted it, turning it into an extension of its self.  Just as the pagan religions of old were established to support the cultures in which they existed, so also has the majority of Christianity in the United States been mutated to undergird the empty philosophies and carnal desires of most Americans. This is predominately seen in the common thread of shame that runs through them.

It may come as a surprise to many reading this that both American Christianity and the American dream are shame based beliefs. When most people hear the word “shame” they usually think of folks beating themselves up and feeling like worms because of their awareness of their wrong behaviors. So the response to this by many Americans attending their nice, cozy, affirming church services and hanging out in their comfy homes is, “I don’t feel any shame!” Some are thinking, “My church makes me feel great! It doesn’t heap any shame on me!” and “What’s wrong with the American Dream?! Look at all I’ve accomplished!”  But what most don’t realize is shame isn’t only manifested by people walking around feeling like guilt ridden scum bags, it is also evident through our attempts to cope with it by masking it through our efforts to make ourselves feel better about ourselves.  To put it bluntly, most Americans, particularly Christians, deal with shame by elevating themselves so that they feel superior to most people around them. Through their efforts, hard work, and moral striving at church and on the job they earn bragging rights over their fellow man because of their achievements.  They push down their shame by comparing themselves to their neighbors and feeling a notch or two superior. 

The sad truth is, most American Christians have not truly embraced the finished work of Jesus on the cross.  They don’t know His incredible love for them and don’t live in the reality of what it is to have had their guilt and shame removed. Every smug look of a Christian at a sinner is evidence that shame is still dominating their lives. Every attitude of superiority toward those following other religions is proof they are still consumed by shame.  Every push to prove another’s politics is inferior to their own is a marker that shame still has a home in their hearts. Every push for more, bigger, better, to be recognized as the best and the most spiritual is powered by shame.  We are so used to being driven by shame in our culture that we’ve even declared such a drive to be a virtue.  Politicians have learned just how deep seated these ideals are in our culture that they even craft their speeches telling stories of how through their own efforts they went from a nothing to a powerful somebody.  Shame powers both American Christianity and the American Dream. They are mutually dependent upon one another and support each other. Both thrive on striving in your own efforts to be better than others.  They exist in securing the bragging rights over others. Whether those bragging rights are that you’ve got the biggest and best house on the block, you’re top dog at the box office, or your church is the most spiritual in the city, it makes no difference.  All are controlled by the same carnal drive and therefore all are of this world. 

American Christianity supports the shame based system of the American Dream because it is the dominating philosophy of our culture and so embracing it helps to fill church pews. If you give people a way to shed their shame (Jesus Christ) they will find liberty and cease their carnal striving. If instead, people keep their shame and you give people a way to mask it you'll secure a congregation, workers, and money.  Embracing the guilt masking competition of the American Dream causes people to labor and donate their financial rewards to your religion.  Religion is all too happy to make those who do so feel good about themselves and shame those who don’t.  This is why American Christianity often ties wealth to spiritual maturity. The American Dream supports its goals and purposes.  Congregations need people to accumulate more but remain under the thumb of their power.  This way they receive the large donations necessary to expand their kingdoms. It is even extremely common to give the wealthy church members important positions within congregations.  And the wealthy, more often than not, being materialistic and having their hearts far from God, want to have their shame appeased, so they gladly jump at the opportunity to feel more spiritual and godly than their fellow man.

There is a reason that Jesus said it’s easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.  He wasn’t saying rich people won’t be able to enter heaven.  But he was saying that most rich people are not able to enter the joy and reality of the Kingdom of God now because their wealth and/or accomplishments create an illusion of security and superiority.  Their guilt is continually pacified by the constant “love,” respect, admiration, and attention of others so that the wealthy can’t see their desperate emptiness and misery.  Usually only those who by the grace of God are crushed have their eyes opened to their desperate need for Him, the REAL Jesus, not the pacifying false Jesus of religion.   

See, the real poison of religious Christianity is not in making people feel like failures, but rather in rewarding their successes. Wayne Jacobsen so brilliantly illustrated this in His book “So You Don’t Want to Go TO Church Anymore?” as he described a little girl racking up stars on her Sunday School chart for memorizing Bible verses every week. She was being taught well that God is the great score keeper who pours out His affection upon those who work the hardest.  The god of American Christianity pushes his people to compete with one another and labor hard to truly earn his affection, just as does his brother Uncle Sam.  They call out, “Come work for me and earn your bragging rights so you can mask your shame!”  While the living God, Jesus Christ, calls out, “Come to me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest!”  The living God doesn’t mask shame, He completely removed at the cross, allowing you to rest from all your striving for significance, love and affection.  In American Christianity and the American Dream everything is earned and your value is based on what you possess.  In Jesus Christ everything pertaining to life and godliness has already been freely given to you and your value is based on who you are...the beloved son/daughter of God.